Overcoming Marriage Misconceptions
By Lynette Kittle
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” - Proverbs 18:22
Married at First Sight is a television reality show where individuals wanting to marry agree to enter into matrimony with a stranger, after being interviewed, tested, and matched up by marriage experts. During the process, they agree to take the plunge with a total stranger to say, “I do.” It’s a modern-day take on arranged marriages, of trusting experts to be their matchmakers.
Many singles participating in the reality program have experienced heartache, disappointment, or loss of confidence in their own ability to choose a spouse. In hopes of finding a marriage partner, they look to professionals for help.
Some who seek help have felt paralyzed by fear at the possibility of their choosing the wrong partner, afraid of making a bad decision. Others are fearful of failing, of entering into a martial relationship that will not last and lead to divorce.
In our culture’s chaotic hook-up atmosphere, who can blame these individuals for seeking help in getting married? Genesis 2:18 describes how God recognizes man’s sincere need for companionship, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
He also understands the challenges involved in doing so. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).
Meeting for the very first time at their wedding ceremony, the couples say, “I do.” For the next six weeks following the wedding, the new brides and grooms live out their newlywed life before the cameras, documenting their honeymoon, house hunting, and more.
As they launch into married life, the show’s experts also follow their progress, offering thoughtful counsel, helpful resources, and practical tools to help the couples build a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
Like one might imagine, it’s often a roller coaster ride for the new husbands and wives as they begin to experience the ups and downs of married life.
Although giving couples the option at the end of the six weeks to stay married or divorce does not follow a biblical approach to marriage, the program offers insight into misconceptions many singles deal with as newlyweds such as:
- Thinking good marital relationships come easy and don’t require a lot of effort.
- Deciding whether it’s a good match based on whether it’s easy or difficult for them to live out.
- Believing a husband and wife must have all the same interests and be just alike in every way to have a successful marriage, rather than seeing how couples’ differences stretch and help each other to grow.
- Seeing conflict as a sign of a bad marriage rather than seeing it as a tool that helps them work through issues and grow closer as a couple.
- Facing everyday practicality and realities they are experiencing in their new marital relationship that don’t match-up with their preconceived ideas.
- Believing love is a feeling rather than a choice.
So in a culture where many singles are fearful, disappointed, and have lost hope in marrying, we as couples can keep in mind the struggles singles around us may be dealing with in getting married.
We can let our light shine as a couple to those who need encouragement to go forward with marriage. Like Matthew 5:16 encourages, let your light shine before others.
As well, we can allow singles we know to see how as a couple together, we work through our weaknesses in marriage.
Likewise, we can offer singles glimpses and real-life examples of how God works through our individual strengths to uplift and encourage each other.
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, iBelieve.com, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, Startmarriageright.com, growthtrac.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
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