My Wife’s Prayer List
By Brian Goins
No. 1 on my wife’s prayer list? That her husband would pray with her.
You might think a seminary-trained, church-planting pastor and FamilyLife Weekend to Remember® speaker would walk out of his prayer closet daily, grab his wife’s hand, and confidently lead her before the throne room of God—all before bacon and eggs.
But for 23 of our 25 years of marriage, the No. 1 thing on my wife’s prayer list was that I would pray more often with her. When I was single, I think I prayed a lot more for a wife than when God finally gave me a wife.
It’s not like we didn’t pray. I mean, when you log the time before dinners, holidays, kids’ bedtimes, communion, and the holy flares we shot off before crucial kids’ playoff games, it certainly adds up. But I knew deep down our prayer life together felt more rote than right.
I can’t tell you exactly why it has been such a struggle in my married life. You can point to the usual suspects: no models, insecurities, laziness. As a student of Scripture, I’d salve my soul with the knowledge, “There’s no explicit command in the Bible about a husband praying with his wife; certainly nothing about frequency.”
Though the Apostle Paul said, “nourish and cherish” your wife (Ephesians 5:29). And I often heard the half-brother of Jesus slice through my sanctimonious veil with the words, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17).
So yeah, no chapter and verse, but I knew what my wife needed to feel nourished and cherished. For her man to grab her hand more regularly and practice the presence of God together.
About two years ago, we picked a time that worked for both of us. It may not be daily, but it’s consistent … and my wife wrote “answered” by that prayer request.
The Good Stuff: So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:17)
Action Points: Ask your spouse what tops their prayer list. If you don’t know, then time praying with you may be #1.
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