My Friends Are Getting a Divorce
By Sabrina McDonald
After nearly two decades of marriage, my friends are getting a divorce.
When she told me the news, I couldn’t blame her. I’ve watched the struggle for years, often through shared tears in my living room. Her reasons were grievous, indeed—both understandable and biblical.
But I was still sad for them.
You see, I’m in a second marriage. I got here through someone’s death, not divorce. But I still faced the lonely struggles of single parenthood and remarriage.
Both are harder than anyone expects.
I assured my friend I supported her, but I also told her it won’t be easy. Divorce may solve some problems, but those gains are exchanged for new struggles ... sometimes bigger ones.
For example, there are financial burdens. Many have found themselves facing bankruptcy after a split. The fallout can take years to overcome.
And when kids are involved, an ex-spouse is never really “gone.” The ex becomes more like a mashup: ex-spouse-in-law. They have rights to see the kids and make decisions for them. That ex-spouse will probably get married, introducing a new adult figure into your children’s lives.
Your kids may not like that person, which breaks a parent’s heart. Or they may love that person, which also breaks a parent’s heart.
The kids blame themselves. Parents feel guilty. Grandparents are torn.
Far more people than the couple suffer, even in a “good” split.
It’s just one reason God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16, NASB). He has compassion, and He sees the painful devastation endured by each member of the family, even when it’s the best possible choice.
It’s also why you should fight as hard as you can to save your marriage. Do everything you can—talk to your pastor, a counselor, attend marriage seminars, read books, change.
Sometimes the battle is lost, and life moves on. But until then, it’s worth giving everything you’ve got.
The good stuff: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled. (Hebrews 13:4)
Action points: Consider the ways you contribute to trials in your marriage. What can you do to contribute hope? What are some ways you can extend grace to your spouse? Set up regular dates nights to allow time for reconnection.
Visit the FamilyLife® Website