Uh-Ohs, Pizza, and the Holy Spirit
By Andy Allan
On our second date, our relationship hit its first speed bump: ordering pizza. My wife loved veggie pizza; I couldn’t pick broccoli out of a lineup. Awkward, even for the server, who had to give us “a few more minutes” 17 times. Years later, we realized we’d each experienced a silent “uh-oh.”
In the early days of our marriage, we had more: “Uh-oh. She doesn’t think Brooklyn 99 is funny.” “Uh-oh. He snores.”
We tend to think the deepest bonds between people are formed by shared interests, likes and dislikes. As Christ followers, though, we have an unbreakable connection with our spouses: the Holy Spirit.
If you and your wife follow Jesus, the same Holy Spirit is with each of you (Ephesians 1:13). God Himself has declared a husband and wife are “one” (Matthew 19:4-6), and the Holy Spirit is the crazy glue that sticks them together.
Our relationship with Jesus, and the presence of the Holy Spirit with us, is the most significant part about us. It shapes everything. It lasts forever.
Therefore, spiritual intimacy forges the deepest, most significant bonds between wives and husbands.
Here are three ways to create and strengthen that bond in your marriage.
1. Get real.
Be honest with God and your wife. Open up and talk about what’s really going on in your life. That’s the first obstacle to hurdle. A letter or text might be a better way to express difficult things.
2. Listen well.
We create safe-sharing opportunities by listening without judgment or advice unless it’s requested.
3. Connect with God together.
Pray together. Being honest with God and your spouse and asking Him to draw you closer together seems to me like pouring rocket fuel into your Honda’s gas tank.
Action Points: Make a list. What are three things weighing on you that you’d like to share with your spouse (struggles at work, exhaustion, feelings of inadequacy). Pick one to talk to your spouse about this week (or write a letter). Ask them to pray for/with you.
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