Divorce and Remarriage

There is no circus quite like the life of a divorced mom. I’m recently re-married, but it wasn’t long ago I found myself raising three boys on my own, post-divorce, dealing with that special blend of loneliness, fear, stress, guilt, and exhaustion felt solely by the divorced mama. Here are my best encouraging truths, with a smattering of Scripture for strength, because Lord knows we need it.

If you are sensing a disconnection with your spouse, request that they sit down with you and ask yourselves a few questions. Do you and your spouse see any of the following warning signs occurring in your marriage?

The effects of divorce on children are both short-term and long-term, affecting their emotional, behavioral, and even spiritual health. But there is always hope.

If this is what you’re thinking—breathe. And let’s re-examine your theology. You can’t fail God, and He can’t fail you.Isn’t that great news? But hold on, because you should know more than that about God and His position on divorce. The church has really screwed up this theology over the centuries. Divorce is a complicated and devastating situation, involving grief, guilt, regret, and heartache. The question “Am I failing God by getting a divorce?” oversimplifies your decision and misinterprets the character of God. Let’s ask and answer a few other questions first.Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/grinvalds

I remember how angry I was, and much of my anger was directed at God. I had married the man he told me to marry, so why was I experiencing this pain?

I began praying for my husband fourteen years ago. I wish I would’ve prayed the other fourteen. The road would’ve looked so different. I would’ve been grateful instead of resentful of the man God gave me.

No one brings you warm dinners or premade casserole dishes. Nobody offers to go with you to planning meetings or conciliation hearings. Very few stop by with cards, flowers, or well wishes after the death of your marriage, but I believe the pain is just the same.We’re left alone with our thoughts and to sort through the destruction left behind from the unwanted divorce. Add to that the blame and the shame that we hear from others, or their complete silence, and we may just start believing these lies as the truth about our divorced circumstances and ourselves too.As we wade through the pain and the legal process, we need to know the difference between truth and lies. When we see the lies for what they are, we’re better able to understand what is the truth about our situation.Here are 5 lies you need to stop believing…

Divorce is a real and prevalent issue both inside and outside the church. When it comes to the topic of divorce, this can be a little bit like The Scarlet Letter. If you are not familiar with the story, a woman who had committed adultery was forced to walk around with a scarlet letter A sewn into her clothes. This identified to everyone the sin she had committed.When it comes to divorce, sometimes in Christian circles it gets treated the same way. There are several reasons why people get divorced: adultery, abuse, finances, or simply falling out of love. But the question that many wonder is this: is divorce a sin? Obviously, divorce is not something that God wants or pleases Him, but is it actually a sin? Divorce is a complicated and controversial issue, yet it cannot be ignored.What makes something, such as divorce, sinful?The nature of this topic should require us to approach it with a lot of grace. For people not facing these challenging situations it could be very easy to come to the conclusion that divorce is a sin. The short answer is yes, Paul and Jesus both spoke of factors that can allow divorce to be justified and not sinful. However, t truth of the matter is that whether divorce is a sin is a little more complicated than that.As I write this, I am writing from a perspective of a child whose parents went through a divorce, so I have seen firsthand how devastating and damaging this can be. My intention today is to not bring down the heavy hand, which is easy to do, but to bring the hand of grace, which is not always easy to do. Whether the actual act of divorce is a sin, every divorce is a product of sin. If there was no sin in the marriage relationship, divorce would not be needed. Surely Jesus knows our weaknesses and understands our needs. Let's take a look at what the Bible teaches us as grounds for divorce and reconciliation.

I know the devastation of divorce. I understand the hurt and pain that cannot be articulated with words. I also bear witness to the fact that God can make beauty from ashes. When we are open to releasing our fragile hearts back to God, in exchange, we receive healing accompanied by joy, restoration, peace, and hope.

If life isn’t ideal, and the D-word becomes a reality, however, we enter a new phase of life. Ideal A didn’t happen. Instead, we enter Ideal B. It’s still ideal because it’s focused on God’s best for our lives here and now.

God hates divorce is not the end of this divorce discussion. It doesn’t give us enough information or any context behind why God is saying this.

Life felt out of control, but I did have control of myself and the life I chose to live moving forward. I began to see glimpses of hope.Because in my suffering, I knew He was my lifeline.In my suffering, He was my constant companion.In my suffering, He was my HOPE.

Author and Proverbs 31 Ministries founder Lysa TerKeurst revealed to her social media followers over the weekend that she is in a new relationship following her divorce.

My wife and I are helping some dear friends through problems in their marriage. Please help me understand what the Bible says about divorce.

Marriage is a sacred and serious union. But God loves the individual more than he loves the institution; the individual who was “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) by the Lord Himself, in His image.