Engagement & Newlyweds

Starry-eyed, smiling couples often ask us, “How long should an engagement last?” To give a complete answer, we need to look at the biblical principles of relationships:

The proposal, the ring, the magical moment of saying yes. Becoming engaged is one of the most unforgettable moments in a couple's life. All of the excitement building to the wedding day, all the fun of sharing your journey with family and friends.Your next level commitment is almost a permanent covenant, but then the unthinkable happens. It's hard to imagine how two people who have made a public declaration of their love somehow arrive at a crossroad that demands consideration if their love is meant for marriage. The thought seems so far-fetched, yet this is the reality many have painfully confronted.Choosing a mate to spend the rest of your life with is the most important decision you will make in this life, next to accepting Jesus' gift of salvation. Some may question how a relationship could progress to the point of engagement only for it to be called off.Actually, there are a plethora of reasons that warrant this decision. Marriage is a covenant relationship that should be entered soberly, prayerfully, and confidently because both parties are in agreement with God and each other.In Amos 3:3 (KJV), Scripture tells us, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" If you and your prospective marital partner are out of sync with God and/or each other, it will be extremely challenging to walk together in agreement. In this context, calling off your engagement might actually be the most mature and godly choice you can make for yourselves and each other to honor God.If you are experiencing internal conflict over your decision to become engaged and continue pursuing marriage, here are three signs you might need to call off your engagement.

Falling in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. You’ve found this person who you connect with, you have a lot in common, and have a lot of fun together. Weeks turn to months and then years, and you still love spending time together. Then he pops the question, and you are happier than you have ever been - until you’re not.Many, many years ago, I was engaged and wound up calling off my engagement. I was young and in college and met this great guy. He had a troubled past and lived in a group home, which made things hard for him. However, we got along and enjoyed spending time together. We were together for a year, and then he asked me to marry him. Of course, I said “yes.”To be honest, looking back, I think I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I didn’t trust my gut. It turns out my intuition was right. Three months later, he confessed he cheated on me, with a guy no less. I remember storming out of the apartment he lived in with his friend and going home. Everything continued to disintegrate from there. I won’t go into details, but I didn’t handle the situation well. The last thing I did was drop off a garbage bag full of everything he ever gave me and left it at the bottom of his front steps. Then I cut off all contact, pawned the ring he gave me, and never looked back.Now that I am much, much older, I realize there were many things I missed while in the dating phase. Here are some signs that you need to call off your engagement.

Once you're engaged, it's time to plan the wedding. But in between deciding on a florist and hiring a caterer, there are some other important, more soul-focused things you should add to your pre-wedding to-do list.Let's take a look at five things you should do while you're engaged:Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

Wedding planning is stressful. Take a deep breath, try not to stress, and remember that God is with you in the planning stages, on your wedding day, and through your life in marital bliss. When you meet your spouse at the altar on your wedding day, it will all be worth it.

As the bride takes in the fanfare, glitz, excitement, and anxiety on her big day, what can those close to her do to help her sail through the day and, better still, to fortify her marriage? We are glad you asked - you can pray for her.

God wants two people who are dedicated to each other, themselves, and God. Anything else cause disillusionment—and ultimately—heartbreak—if they disagree. If you encounter any of the above issues in your relationship, breaking off the engagement before it's too late is best.

If you feel yourself getting stressed, do what your schedule—and budget—will allow to relieve it. Stress wreaks havoc physically, mentally, and emotionally if gone unchecked. If you feel stressed for a long period, it may only cause health problems that interfere with your special day.

Nick and Chelsea Hurst are authors, parents, and well-known YouTubers with over 1.5 million subscribers.

There should be wise people in your circle of influence you are certain only have your best interest at heart. Maybe all your family and friends will not be convinced that the person you are considering marrying is the right person for you, but if everyone you trust is saying, “I don’t see it,” you might want to pump the brakes for a minute.

Start over as many times as you have to, as long as it’s with the same man. The best marriage you will ever have is the one you have right now.

There are certainly a few gray areas in the Bible on various topics—but Christians living together before marriage is not one of them.

Marriage is serious. God takes it seriously, and so should we. But in an age where weddings take up more conversation time than marriage itself, it’s easy to jump into an engagement on a wave of infatuation without asking some hard questions.

What fears or societal changes might be getting in the way of marriage, and what are those of us desiring to marry at some point supposed to do about it? Here are four of the biggest fears about marriage (and how to overcome them).

Some consequences include dealing with the possibility of pregnancy, acquiring or sharing a sexually transmitted disease, and the most underrated --but possibly most impacting--are the emotional issues that sexually active teens struggle with and take into their marriage.