By Joanna Teigen, Crosswalk.com
A white dress hangs in all its elegance, waiting for our daughter’s wedding day. The stack of gifts for her new home keeps growing as parcels arrive on our porch. A flurry of emails—catering menus, lease agreements, travel confirmations—fills her inbox as she prepares to celebrate and step over the threshold into life as a married woman.
As this sweet bride’s mother, it’s a joy to share recipes and shop for towels and see the soft light of love in her eyes for her groom. Yet I long for so much more for my daughter than a cute apartment and a fun honeymoon vacation. My heart dreams of a rare, soul-growing marriage beyond the romance or natural compatibility they share.
After nearly thirty years of walking through life with my own husband, I know her marriage journey will twist and turn. Sometimes she will feel lonely in the same room as her mate. When their “for better” turns to “for worse,” she’ll wonder if the ship of their life will capsize in the storm.
Our daughter will experience self-doubt and the painful realities of her own limitations as she tries to love her family well. She needs Someone strong and good to help her live out all the hopes her wedding vows will hold.
As my daughter leaves and cleaves to her husband, so much goes with her. Her parents’ love. Excitement. Encouragement and support. Yet the most important thing I can give to my daughter is prayer to the One who loves her most.
Here are 5 prayers from a mother’s heart as my daughter prepares to say, “I do.”
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1. A Prayer for Humility
My daughter and her fiancé did a lot of living before their paths crossed and intertwined. Each holds unique habits, traditions, tastes, and memories close to their hearts. As they form one household, their individual preferences will collide. Each will feel tempted to call their own way “best” instead of simply different.
Give this couple a heart of humility toward one another. When faced with options and tough choices, give them ears to hear the other’s point of view. Move them to put each other first instead of demanding their own way. Let them work for the good of their spouse instead of themselves alone.
As my daughter and her husband unite their lives, they will hold a front-row seat to each other’s mistakes. Give them humble hearts that refuse to blame, criticize, or say, “I told you so.” Instead, help them to “value others” above themselves (Philippians 2:3). Lead them to meet one another’s failings with servant-hearted help and kindness.
Those failings will challenge their pride, tempting them to feel either insecure or superior to the other. Help them to openly admit their wrongs and take responsibility for their choices. Give them soft hearts that forgive and offer second chances every time.
Each of us knows the humble heart of Jesus. He gave up his rights—and his life—so we could know God’s love. Put the same spirit in my daughter and her husband so they can serve and care for one another with love like his.
Related: Listen to our FREE podcast Faith Over Fear. In this episode, we look at the courage we need to release our children into God's care. Listen now!
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2. A Prayer for Courage
This season as a newlywed will bring so many “firsts” to my daughter. She’ll have to navigate a household budget with adult bills and expenses. Her family of in-laws will introduce a whole new set of relationships to develop. Changing routines, priorities, and goals are taking her down an unfamiliar path.
Her church life and social circle will shift as she relates to others as a “Mrs.” Problem-solving skills will be tested as she works to maintain her home and grow her career. She’ll wonder if she has what it takes to tackle the challenges that come her way.
Fill my daughter with courage in knowing you’re with her every moment. Draw her close to you and her husband when she feels afraid. Give her strength to admit she doesn’t have all the answers and to reach out for help.
Keep my daughter from worry about money by trusting you to provide. When she feels blindsided by trouble, make her brave so she stands her ground. If sickness or disappointment bring her low, give her a tenacious faith that trusts you’re doing good in her life through it all.
The enemy is going to whisper lies in my daughter’s ear. When she and her husband struggle with conflict or hurt each other’s hearts, he’ll tell her she’s unloved. He’ll tempt her to run away or put up walls of self-protection. My daughter needs courage to hang tough and never give up on their love.
Fill my daughter with confidence in her identity as your child. You provide joy that no hard circumstance can take away. In her weakness, you put your power on full display. Because of your love, my daughter can face her future with hope and strength.
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3. A Prayer for Growth
By uniting my daughter to her husband, she is now part of something larger than herself. You expanded her heart to love another. The path of her life has broadened so they can walk out their hopes and plans side by side.
I pray you would grow my daughter’s capacity to give as she lives out her purpose as a “suitable helper” to her husband. (Genesis 2:18) Increase her sensitivity to his needs and feelings. Develop her unique ability to understand him, honor him, and support him in embracing your calling on his life.
Grow the blessing and influence of my daughter’s home. Let her discover how love is multiplied through hospitality. Seat caring friends around their table who become like family through your Spirit. Use her house to shine your light to a lost and lonely world.
If it is your perfect will, grow my daughter’s family. Bless her with children as a reward and heritage from you. (Psalm 127:3) Fill her with an increasing passion to nurture and care for little ones—and those young in faith—to leave a spiritual legacy that lasts.
Increase my daughter’s success, Lord. Allow her to harvest a reward from whatever she is “planting” today. If she invests in education or training to grow her skills, bless her abilities. Show her favor through the leaders in her life. Prosper the work of her hands and the dreams in her heart.
Deepen the love in my daughter’s marriage. Knit them together with an ever-growing bond that nothing can divide. Help them to discover more and more to cherish and value in one another. Each day, increase their praise to you for the gift of their life together.
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4. A Prayer for Wisdom
Apart from you we can’t do anything. (John 15:5) Like every couple, my daughter and her husband will struggle to love each other well. They’ll find themselves discouraged and confused on their journey of becoming one (Mark 10:8).
Give this couple wisdom to understand one another’s ideas, opinions, and desires. Provide insight in when to listen and when to speak their minds. Teach them how to communicate effectively so they can deal with conflict and keep things open between them.
A husband and wife will face one decision after another. Guide them as they navigate their plans for the future. Help them know how to manage their finances and careers, parenting and outside commitments. Be the Lord of their schedules and priorities so they stay in step with you.
You call a bride and groom to leave their parents and establish their own household. They need your help to set wise boundaries to protect their privacy, time, and attention to one another. Teach them what it means to be true partners who put each other first.
Continue to reveal your perfect will for this precious couple. Show them how to use their spiritual gifts to serve others. Help them know how to create rhythms of prayer, worship, and Bible study in their home. Give wisdom for how to follow Jesus in every part of their marriage.
Thank you for the gift of your Word to our children. Provide mature believers who know your Word and ways to give guidance and advice for their life together. Use wise counsel to lead them where you want them to go.
You are our firm foundation so we are never shaken. May my daughter and her husband trust you with all their hearts.
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5. A Prayer for Joy
No thought or emotion is hidden from your sight. You know the hopes we carry for tomorrow. You count our tears when we grieve. When my daughter and her husband suffer pain, let them place those hurts in your hands.
Even in the happiness of marriage, not every wound is healed from the past. Wash away any guilt or shame with your mercy and grace. Comfort the griefs of lost loved ones and disappointed dreams. Bring justice and restore the blessings unfairly taken from their lives.
Help this couple to see your goodness in every part of their home. Make them a husband and wife who are grateful for all your gifts, great and small. Give them the “great gain” that comes with contentment in your love (1 Timothy 6:6).
Establish a happy, joyful household for this couple. Fill it with laughter and celebration. Craft their home as a romantic refuge where they know intimacy, affection, and delight. Let their marriage be the most secure and satisfying relationship they’ll ever know in this life.
Fill them with your Spirit so they can bear your fruit of joy in their hearts. Make them so confident in your love and power than no hardship can bring them down. Keep them focused on their glorious future with you that is better than anything this world can offer.
Thank you for the gift of marriage so my daughter and her husband can know love for a lifetime. Bless them with gladness. Prove your promise to do more than all they ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Be their strength and their song, always.
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